Bitter Brown Girl

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From my personal Tarot del Fuego deck. Art by Ricardo Cavolo

I was a bitter brown girl. I clenched my fists and jaw when I saw the favoritism in my family for masculine energies and men. It’s a tone. It’s a glint in the eye. Like, being born a boy is automatically a milagro within itself. A warped kind of worshiping. There was white Jesus with his blonde hair and six-pack and there was also Luis. He had the same eye color as white Jesus. He was never a father to me. He was male gaze incarnate. The way he used to look into me, as though I was a woman at the age of seven. I used to dream in blues, underwater and sinking fast into the bottom of the ocean until a light shimmered on top of my head and forced me to look to the surface. I was trapped inside the blue of his eyes. I scraped at his cornea until I could crawl out. When I fell onto the ground and looked to him, his skin and blood turned cerulean and then exploded onto the walls and onto me. Blue blood and guts eviscerated.
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Being Brown and Believing in Magic

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From Tarot del Fuego by Ricardo Cavolo

Walter Mercado told me to wear gold to ring in the New Year so I did. Walter and his gorgeous, extravagant gowns. Watching him growing up, I believed in his magic. He struck me as regal, optimistic, and vivacious. I knew to stop talking, chewing loud, hold my breath until I heard him say “Leo” and finally end his astrological analysis with a circular motion around his heart and a kiss to the camera. Magic was a constant in my life, until it wasn’t.
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Favorite K Dramas in 2016

First, as a K Drama lover, I have a confession: this past year, I have not finished all of my favorite K Dramas listed. I don’t know what it is about this year, this is just how it went for me as a viewer. Second, this list is compiled of dramas from 2015 and 2016. I don’t always watch them as soon as they come out even though I have a Dramafever and Viki subscription.

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Image from one of my favorite scenes in Please Come Back, Mister

Here are my top six K Dramas of 2016:
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